This weekend, XC skiing on a converted rail trail in Park City, then a perfect bluebird groomer day at Solitude, was a falling in love sort of day. Today, with the crummy air quality and papers to grade, less so.
But what I want to bitch about is The Wives. What do I mean by The Wives? Well, here it is:
Women who perhaps once were active and played hard and were gear heads and did things, but now are Wives and Mothers. They have lost their need (if they ever had it) for better fitting chamois shorts and longer travel suspension forks on small framed bikes. They would not consider bike packing to be a fantastic way to spend a long weekend, and even if they did, well, someone has to watch the kids.
That isn't to say that I disrespect their choice to become parents (that's a whole other issue) and please know that I'm mostly talking about women that I've met here in SLC, not my dearest girlfriends who have made the transition into parenthood.
But I'm not a fucking Wife. I don't want to sit on the couch at the party and talk about schools and children. I want to see who wants to go riding with me tomorrow, next week, this summer. I don't care particularly about when your child learned how to ride a bike; when did you? Where do you ride? Why are you boring me with stories about your kids? And can we just have one conversation where we aren't interrupted by your brat? Just one? When did people forget how to teach politeness? (That is a whole other other issue. And I could go on for days...)
|I am so much more than a wife.|
Where it becomes most frustrating is when my husband's friends plan trips that are either "family friendly" (read: women in camp with kids/hell) or hammer fests (100+ mile days, no mercy/also hell). What about the people who wish to play with their partners and not destroy their bodies? Where are the couples who do that? Why is there only one or the other? And why, being neither a hammerhead nor a mother, don't I fit in anywhere?
So my husband and I rarely play with others, with a few exceptions. There is a group of bike packers here led by a dynamic, un-married, un-parented woman who I enjoy riding with. Um...what else?
I can't figure out if this situation is Salt Lake (and the insanely patriarchal society that is stuck somewhere in the '70s), my age/time of life, or what. Sure, it makes sense that people get married (I did) and have kids, but why do they instantly become boring? (Again, not personal, just noting the way things are here in SLC, especially at my husband's work.) Does having kids change you so much that you can't be friends with people who don't? Am I just a bitch because I can't put myself in their shoes? (Try having 30 of them in a classroom- just try it, and then say that I can't put myself in their shoes.) Or is it just this town, this time, my interests? I don't know.
Thus, in and out of love with Salt Lake.